What If?
by titansfan1211
Summary: what if that day at the circus never happened? what if they were still alive? what if i wasn't a hero? what then? ONESHOT


_**_DISCLAIMER!! I DON'T OWN TEEN TITANS!! (If I did there would still be a show! GRR…)**

(A/N: this chapter my seem a lil OOC, but it is hard trying to figure out Robin's mind! ENJOY!! Please R&R!!)

_What would it be like If we were all normal? _ I couldn't help but think as I lay in bed. If none of this super hero chaos had happened, if I could go back in time. Many more what ifs swirled around in my head, and it was too much to think about. I looked over at my clock, which blinked 3:52 am. _Great, another sleepless night. _Not that I wouldn't have just woken up minutes after falling asleep anyway_. Stupid nightmares._ But none of the other titans would know this, and I would never let on. They would never know the last time I truly slept, so long as we weren't out of coffee.

I got out of bed and went up to the roof, which I did every morning, to watch the sun rise. Something about seeing it just made me feel hopeful inside, like something good could come out of the day. I guess I got it from her. She always was into nature… I wondered when the last time I had actually had a good night's sleep was. Probably hadn't been since before they had left forever. As soon as the sun started to come up, I heard footsteps. I smiled, as I heard the familiar pattern of her light footsteps. "Hey Raven."

"Hi." She looked over my face, and though I was smiling, she could see through to my thoughts. "What are you thinking about? And don't try to tell me you weren't thinking about something important, I can see it written all over your face." _Darned bond._ If it hadn't been for her though, I would have been dead. _Of course, if none of this hero stuff had happened in the first place, I wouldn't have had to deal with that… _

_STOP!_ I told myself. _I __**am**__ a titan and that night __**did**__ happen, whether I wanted it to or not. And I really didn't. Still don't. I'd give the world to go back and fix it but there's nothing left to fix. Nothing can change what happened. Wishful thinking only gets you going so far… there's nothing I can do… just like the doctors had said, just like they all had said. They had all just given up, not giving a second thought to the kid, who begged them to at least try, to do something…_ Apparently my face betrayed my thoughts, and Raven gave me one of her serious but caring looks.

"I'm not one to pry, but… seriously, what's going on in your head?" I guess I was worse at hiding my emotions than thought, cause she was right she usually _didn't _pry. _Ever._ Unless she thought it was important. I shrugged. "Well… if you ever want to talk…" with that she walked back inside. I just sat and thought.

I tried not to, but my thoughts kept going back to earlier. _What if I could bring them back? But then if that happened what about the titans? If they had still been here, would there even be the Teen Titans? _Those were the complicated thoughts tumbling around my head that morning. I looked at the time. 9:30 am. I went down to the kitchen, figuring everyone else would be up right now. I was right. I made myself some coffee, as the other titans watched me. "Hi guys."

They looked around uncomfortably, so I just sat down on a stool on the farther end of the table. _What was up?_ "You know that stuffs bad for you." Cyborg said, trying to break the tension. "It stuns your growth. Bad for teeth too." I rolled my eyes under the mask.

"Yea, thanks for the warning tin man, I never would have known!" I said, and flinched realizing how cold and distant my words had sounded. He looked a little hurt, so I apologized. "Sorry for getting all spazzy, I just have a lot on my mind right now…"

"It's cool man." For what seemed like a long time, there was a silence. We all just sat there. No one was sure why we were so quiet, but nobody said anything. Eventually, everyone got up and did something. BB and Cyborg restarted there age old battle—who's turn it was to play the shared game consul.

Personally, I don't see what the big deal was about the video games, especially the violent ones. _Didn't they get enough of that dumb violence in real life? Shouldn't they be enjoying the time where evil isn't lurking just around the corner? When it isn't trying to come tear your world apart? _I sighed, and went back up to the roof. It is a great place for thinking. You could just look out into the ocean, feeling so at peace, so calm, so serene.

I looked out into the deep blue, which seemed to be never ending, and I just thought about him and her. Soon, my hands balled up into fists, as I thought about the men angrily, those horrible men that had ruined my life, and… theirs.

_They were completely innocent! Why did they have to suffer? Or maybe it was because they were so innocent… _I didn't know what to think, so many different thoughts stumbled through my mind. In the past couple of weeks, even though it happened years ago, it had hit me—they were really gone. I'd never see them again. I'd never hear her laugh, or watch the stars with her again. I'd never play games with him again or playfully argue with him over some trivial matter.

I'd never be a kid again. I would never be able to have fun, to completely enjoy myself, without seriousness overtaking my mind, pulling me away from those childish actions. I had grown up too fast, and now I regret it, for now I don't remember how to be a kid. I felt older still today as it finally hit me, after all these years, all these months, all these weeks, that… They… my parents… were dead.


End file.
